tv_channel_simulator/series/Mister Ed/Mister Ed S01E19 Little Boy.autogenerated.txt

Hello, I'm Mr. Red.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse, of course,
that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Red.
Go right to the source and ask the horse, he'll give you the answer that you endorse.
He's always on a steady course, talk to Mr. Red.
Yeah!
Let's go!
Hey, come on, it ain't champions yet.
Yeah!
Come on!
Hi.
Do you want to play ball with me?
Oh, it's the new kid in the block.
You want to play ball?
No, we don't want to play ball.
It's a brand new one.
It is, huh?
Let me see.
Go chase it!
Yeah, hey, come on, Dave!
Yeah!
Stop here, Ed.
About time.
I thought we'd never get home.
We're only out here for a little exercise, Ed.
We?
I've been running, you've been sitting.
Good old Ed.
Huh.
Let me have it!
Hi, Mr. Post!
Hi, Andy!
Hi, Johnny!
Make your horse do some tricks again, Mr. Post.
Tricks?
All right.
You tell him to do something.
Shake your head.
Shake your head, Mr. Ed.
Swish your tail, Mr. Ed.
Swish your tail, Mr. Ed.
Let's go play.
Bye, Mr. Ed!
Bye, boys!
Bye-bye!
We're out here!
Come on, you're getting weak.
I better get you back to the barn.
Besides, I want to show Roger Anderson some new magic tricks I just got.
If you're a magician, lose some weight.
Hold it.
We both walk.
All right, you win.
How do you feel with that on, Ed?
Like Gypsy Rose Lee.
I got a kick out of those kids.
There is nothing like youth.
Yeah, sure wish I was a colt again.
Have a happy childhood, Ed?
Oh, I was a crazy mixed-up two-year-old.
My mom used to wait up all hours for me.
Yeah?
What did you do?
Hung around the stables, watching all the fillies go by.
You had a brawl, huh?
Yeah, I was a gay dog.
My diary would make a bestseller.
You made a hit for those kids today.
All but one.
Which one?
Some unhappy little guy standing behind a tree.
How'd you know he was unhappy?
That sad expression.
He looked like an owl in short pants.
How old did he look?
Oh, my age, about seven.
But a little different, of course.
Yeah, I figured.
I think you're imagining things, Ed.
I've got to get in the house and try out a few new magic tricks on my neighbors.
I wouldn't, Wilbur.
You're a terrible magician.
Oh, yeah?
Well, how would you like to see me saw a horse in half?
Huh?
Not this one.
Saw a horse in half.
Moving along to the more difficult of my illusions,
you will see, sir, that there is nothing in either hand.
Right?
Right.
And now pay close attention.
And with a few magic words,
told to me in secret by the thief of Baghdad,
I will produce a full bouquet of flowers from nowhere.
Aga...
Moony...
Mickey...
Rooney.
I'd say a phone call to Baghdad was in order.
I knew something wrong.
You forgot to blindfold me.
Wilbur.
Ha ha ha ha.
It's funny.
I planted geraniums.
For my next trick.
If I may have your attention, ladies and gentlemen.
Honey, I'm expecting Margaret Birch soon.
Can you children play outside?
Margaret Birch?
Yes, she just moved into the neighborhood, remember?
The one with the little boy.
Oh, yes.
Well, one more trick, honey.
Has Wilbur fooled you yet, though?
No one has ever fooled me.
No?
Then how did you get married, sweet?
Now, if I may have your attention, ladies and gentlemen.
I...
Always happens with new cards.
And new magicians.
Thanks, honey.
I don't want her to see the house like this.
Maestro, I have the feeling your show just closed.
Roger, grab it into this table.
I'll show you a few tricks outside.
Wilbur, let's face it.
As a magician, you're a great architect.
Any more words out of you, you'd be a rabbit in the morning.
Come on, sweetie.
Let's go.
Watch, don't look.
That's my best friend.
Excuse me, Kay.
Hi, Janet.
Hi.
Hello, Carol.
Come on in.
Am I early?
No, not at all.
Kay, I'd like you to meet our new neighbor, Margaret Birch.
This is my dear friend, Kay Addison.
Glad to meet you.
Glad to meet you.
Certainly was nice of you to ask me to join your club.
Not really, we need the do's.
Please sit down, Margaret.
Thank you.
You're going to like the girls.
We're really a very congenial group.
Right, Kay?
Well, it keeps us off the streets.
How do you like our neighborhood?
Oh, I love it, but...
But what?
Well, my son is having a little trouble making friends.
He's kind of shy.
Oh, how old is he?
Peter's eight and a half.
Oh, don't worry.
There are a lot of kids his age in the neighborhood.
Yes, I know, but they just don't seem to want to play with him.
Margaret, would it help if maybe you gave a party
and invited all the kids in the neighborhood?
That's a wonderful idea.
Yes, it is.
Do you think they'd come?
I know most of the mothers.
If you'd like, I'll help you round up the kids.
Oh, that's very sweet of you.
Maybe we could plan it for this Saturday.
Wonderful!
Maybe I can persuade Wilbert
to do some of his magic tricks for the kids.
Persuade?
He'll perform for anything that walks, talks,
or sits up and begs.
You shouldn't be touching that.
Oh, sorry, old man.
Well, I'm ready for your performance.
Well, I have a trick here that is bound to amaze you.
This is called the disappearing water trick.
See, I fill this cup with water from this pitcher.
Yeah, you'll notice that I'm filling it up.
There we are.
Now, I have here, as you can see,
an ordinary cup and an ordinary pitcher.
And now, presto!
That's the greatest trick I ever saw,
and I'm suing you for a new suit.
Hey, you! What's the big idea?
What's the big idea?
If I ever get...
If I ever get my hands on that kid,
he won't be able to sit down for a week.
Thank you for a delightful performance.
No, really, really, thank you very much,
but I couldn't impose.
Oh, you won't be imposing?
Why, we'd just love to have him stay here,
wouldn't we, Wilbert?
Of course we would. Have who where?
How do you remember, Margaret Birch?
Yeah.
Yes, of course.
I'm doing magic for your little boy's party.
We're going to have the party here.
Margaret has to go out of town for the weekend.
Her sister just had a baby,
and we're going to have little Peter stay here with us.
You don't mind, do you?
Oh, not at all.
I'll be able to try out some of my new tricks on him.
Just don't do your sprinkler trick, sweetie.
Addison isn't dry yet.
Look, that wasn't my fault, Kay.
Some fresh kid turned on the water.
Then it's all settled, huh, Margaret?
Well, what can I say?
You're all so wonderful.
I'll have Peter over here Friday morning.
Will that be all right?
Any time at all.
Well, I've heard so much about this young boy of yours.
I'm looking forward to meeting him.
Well, you don't have far to look, darling.
He's in the barn.
Oh, I'll go out and say hello.
Excuse me.
Sure.
Sorry to bother you, Mr. Henn.
But you didn't see me.
You're a nice horse.
At least you listen when I talk.
I don't care about that old party.
Those kids don't like me anyway.
And Mr. Post, when he finds out I turned on that old sprinkler,
he wouldn't do his own magic anyway.
But it was an accident.
I was looking for my baseball.
You believe me, don't you, Mr. Ed?
Peter, are you in there?
Peter, I see you hiding behind Ed.
Guess what, Peter.
You're going to have your party after all.
Right in our backyard.
You know something else?
While your mother's away, you're going to stay with us.
Oh, come here.
Let me go.
Oh, look, Pete, I'm your friend.
There's nothing to be frightened about.
Now, come on, son.
Let me...
The sprinkler kid.
Pete, you come back here.
Peter.
Wilbur.
I'll have lunch ready in a few minutes, dear.
He sure loves Ed.
You know, since his mother brought him here,
that kid hasn't said a word to me.
Every time I go near him, he looks at me like I was a truant officer.
I hope you two become friends before tomorrow.
We will.
Of course, I may have to grow two more legs and a tail.
He's just still upset about that sprinkler incident.
He's upset.
My suit is dragging, too, you know.
Honey, please try to talk to him.
Well, okay.
Of course, I may need to wear a raincoat.
Just call him in.
You call him.
If he hears my voice, he may go into orbit.
Peter.
Peter.
Lunch.
Now, try to gain his confidence.
And don't look so solemn.
You really scare him.
Smile.
Hello, Peter, how's it going, boy?
Lunch will be ready in a few minutes, honey.
Meanwhile, you two men get acquainted, huh?
Peter.
Pete.
Peter.
About this sprinkler business, I've forgotten all about it.
Believe me.
You know, I used to do foolish things like that when I was a little boy, too.
It was an accident.
Sure, sure, it was an accident.
It was.
I hit my baseball in your yard.
Then I went to look for it, and my foot turned on your sprinkler.
Sure, sure.
Now, can we be friends?
You don't believe me.
Look, Peter.
I can prove it.
I left my baseball in the bushes so you can see it.
Oh?
Well, let's go take a look, huh?
It's not there.
Peter, believe me.
I'm willing to forget the whole thing.
I said it there before.
I did.
Peter, I believe you.
No, you don't.
The kid told the truth.
Now, Ed, you're wrong.
You see, you don't understand child psychology.
See, kids sometimes lie without meaning it.
They do something, and then they get scared.
And then they exaggerate the facts a little.
Where did you get that baseball?
I signed up with the Dodgers.
Ed, did you find this under those bushes?
That's right.
I was afraid a dog might run off with it, and you never believe the kid.
Hello, Houdini.
No.
What are you going to do with that?
Turn it into a ping pong ball?
Roger, you know we're throwing a party for a little boy tomorrow.
Yeah, Kay told me the bad news.
Roger, I want this party to be a very big success.
Is there anything you can do to entertain kids?
I might wiggle my mustache.
No, I'm serious.
Don't knock it.
That's how I won my wife.
I know.
You can be my assistant during my magic act.
No, no.
Although I will grant you that I look rather fetching in my black mesh stockings and high heels.
No, you better get somebody else.
Wilbur, can you come in, please?
Peter.
Peter?
Look, I found your baseball.
Peter, I'm sorry.
This whole thing is a mistake.
You didn't believe me when I told you.
I'm sorry, Peter.
But you know, sometimes big people make mistakes, and, well, you've just got to forgive them.
Now, can we be friends?
Did you know I'm going to help Mr. Post with his magic act tomorrow?
That's right.
He insisted.
You are going to have the most wonderful party tomorrow.
But those kids don't like me.
Oh, yes, they do.
Now, are we friends?
Here, let me take your things.
And we'll go out and play catch, huh?
Great.
That's a boy.
I've got some hits upstairs.
You're going to show me the finer points of the game.
You wouldn't go out there and play...
Well, what do you think of your party, sweetie?
It's okay.
Peter, here are some more of your friends.
Hi, Andy.
Hi.
Hello, sissy.
Come on, Mike.
Peter, let's join the group, huh?
Come on, fellas, let's get the entertainment underway.
Here we are.
Hey, Dad, you're it.
Come on.
Now, if you'll just keep your little...
If you'll just keep quiet, I will introduce...
That world-famous magician and prestidigitator...
Who has just returned from a triumphal tour of the provinces...
The one, the only, Will Barini.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I thank you.
Isn't he funny?
Go ask your mother.
Now, if my assistant will please give me a piece of rope,
any piece of rope, I shall perform my next trick.
Why, of course, a piece of rope.
An ordinary piece of rope.
Here you are.
I thank you.
As you can all see, this is just a plain, ordinary piece of rope.
It is not.
It's a trick rope.
I saw it on television.
Yeah, he makes believe he cuts it, but he really doesn't.
It's got a magnet in the middle of it that holds it together.
For my next trick, I should like to perform one never before seen anywhere,
not even on television.
I bet.
This is called my disappearing trick.
For this trick, I shall need two volunteers from the audience.
They're not volunteers.
They're vigilantes.
I'll never get this one.
If my assistant will give each of these boys one of these rubber balls.
Yes, master.
Young man, there you are.
If you will please place one ball in each of my pockets.
That's it.
May I have...
Thank you very much.
I have here a box, just an empty box.
Is that empty?
Are you quite sure?
Stop that.
Here.
This might be a good place to ring down the curtain.
Come on, boys, refreshments.
Here we go.
Come on.
Lunch, refreshments.
Wilbur, where's Peter?
Peter?
I think I know where he's gone.
Would you mind holding these, dear?
Come on, Pete.
It's your party.
All the kids are waiting for you.
You know they're not.
You don't want to miss all that ice cream, do you?
Hey, Wilbur.
Yes?
I've got an idea that'll help Peter.
Yes?
Now, listen.
None of these boys seem to like this part of the interview.
Peter, there you are.
Here, I fixed a plate for you.
Come on, sit down.
The magician has made a horse appear.
Who wants a ride on Mr. Ed?
Johnny, you're the oldest.
You go first.
Gee.
Hey, what's the matter with him?
Nothing.
He always acts like that with a new rider.
Don't be afraid, Johnny.
Come on.
Nothing.
Andy, you go first.
No, thanks.
Frank, you go first.
What, you're all done crazy?
Isn't there anybody here brave enough to ride on Mr. Ed?
No, not me.
No, thanks.
Surely there's someone here who's willing to take a chance.
How about you, Pete?
Him?
He's a sissy.
I'll ride, Mr. Ed.
Atta boy.
Come on, Pete.
Gangway, boys.
Here we are.
Up you go.
Here.
Now, look, if he tries to roll over on you, you jump off fast and get right back on.
Got it?
Okay.
Let's go.
Stand back.
He ain't scared.
Boy, he's brave.
Don't call him a sissy.
Boy, oh boy, let's go.
This is a lot of fun.
It really is.
Come on.
Here, Pete.
Well, what do you know?
You made a little boy very happy, Ed.
Want to make me happy, Wilbur?
Yeah.
Lose a little weight.
I'll think about it.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
And no one can talk to a horse, of course.
That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.
Go right to the source and ask the horse.
He'll give you the answer that you endorse.
He's always on a steady course.
Talk to Mr. Ed.
People yakety yak a streak and waste your time a day.
But Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
And this one will talk to his voice, his horse.
You never heard of a talking horse?
Well, listen to this.
I am Mr. Ed.
This has been a Filmways television presentation.